oscarstardis: what if everyone’s like “doctOR WHo?!” and the doctor’s all “DOCTOR FUCK YOU” and punches the camera and it breaks and that’s it. that’s the special.
selfdoubtandsyphilis: dankestrnemes: do animals think in english or in the sounds they make this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
what she says: i'm fine
what she means: the bourgeoisie is just as necessary a precondition for the socialist revolution as is the proletariat itself.
danieldempsey: My dude straight loving him some nsync.
newpac: when people say “present” instead of here during attendance
Well I fell into the pit machinery, totalled my saxophone, and I bruised my ribs but hey at least I’m alive!
ed-pool: GREATEST INTERVIEW IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION Charles Ramsey, remember that name. He’ll be an internet legend within twenty-four hours. He rescued 3 women who had been missing for 10 years. The way he tells the story is simply spectacular. It’s perhaps the greatest interview on television. Just some of the epic one-liners: “He’s got some big testicles to pull this off.” “I...
togamivevo: in third grade this kid got in trouble for saying “be free my niggas” when we released the butterflies
benedictcumberassbutt: princejei: catswithbenefits: wow fox news isn’t even about foxes cnn is oh
bonapartist: so i was looking up stuff about birth control throughout history and Basically sums up every hardcore feminist ever.
Dad: Why are your eyes so red?
Son: I was smoking marijuana
Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you're a little bitch
loki-forever: people who leave right after a Marvel movie ends
tsarcasm: never fight a bitch that still has a flip phone she has nothing left to lose
katherlne: the first person to die was probably like “dude what”
drdavidbrinner: drdavidbrinner: Today in gym class we were doing major climbing and halfway up this girl freezes and goes “I CAN’T DO IT I CAN’T DO IT” so some dude yells “MY AUNT SAID DAT AT HER WEDDIN’ BUT SHE MARRIED DAT FINE-ASS DOCTOR AND NOW SHE RICH AS HELL” the girl did it. truly inspiring. I should add that it was a shrimpy 5’1 Indian boy nobody had ever heard talk before who was...
whales4thought: I think it’s healthy and ok to hope for something seemingly impossible. I think it may be even healthier to make those impossible things possible.
Behold the greatest song in history, the dj at...